


Diary

by Denryu



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: (not really) - Freeform, Breakups, Diary/Journal, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Saihara Shuichi is bad at feelings, endgame oma kokichi/saihara shuichi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:27:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22580227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Denryu/pseuds/Denryu
Summary: “You asked me out so what did you expect? For me to come chase you like some hyena?I don’t know what you want from me.Is this the denial stage of grief?Should I feel worse?My feelings are not working. I broke the system.Still,What. A. Dick.”After an ugly break up with his boyfriend, Shuichi Saihara remembers his crushes over the past two years as he flips through his diary.
Relationships: Amami Rantaro & Saihara Shuichi, Harukawa Maki/Momota Kaito, Hinata Hajime/Saihara Shuichi, Momota Kaito/Saihara Shuichi, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Kudos: 110





	Diary

**Author's Note:**

> Vent fic! Please enjoy :)
> 
> Also - the dates might be hard to understand. In the fic it’s currently 2019

Shuichi Saihara had started using a diary.

Around two years ago, he thinks. At first he called it a journal, since a 16 year old male using a diary sounded weird. But as time passed and he turned 18, he caught himself referring to it as a “diary” over and over again so he eventually gave in.

He wrote about the usual stuff a teenager would complain about. At least he thinks so. Too much homework, shitty teacher, an argument with a friend, some shit about his parents. So on so forth.

He talked about boys sometimes too.

  
  


School was finally over and once Shuichi had gotten home he stormed into his room and shut the door. Luckily no one was home at the time to ask him what’s up.

Shuichi opened the closet in his room and dug through a pile of clothes till he found a dark wooden box stored all the way in the back. He pulled it out and slammed the closet, and took a key hidden under his bed. He unlocked the little box, which held his precious 2-year-old diary.

Today was terrible, Shuichi thought.

Shuichi plopped onto his bed, anger fuming out his ears and flipped through the diary’s contents.

_ January 21st, 2017 4:57 pm _

_ I don’t think I’ve been in this much love before. _

_ This is what being in love feels like right? _

_ I thought Kaede sounded stupid whenever she talked about it. _

_ Yet here I am. _

_ He’s got messy hair and a stupid nose and he’s wayyyyy too short for me but fuck!!!! _

_ He’s loud and obnoxious and everyone thinks he’s a dick but goooood _

_ He’s so cute. _

_ Crushes are so hard though. _

_ He told me a joke and I got embarrassed and I didn’t know what to do so I kicked him. _

_ I kicked him! _

_ He didn’t seem to mind though. He laughed but I still regret it. _

_ I had a dream about him last night too. _

_ We went on a date at Disneyland and he told me he loved me. _

_ Feelings are hard. I hate this. _

_ Kokichi Ouma makes my heart go zuuuuwoOooHhhffdddmm and I hate it _

  * _Shuichi S._



Shuichi laughed as he read through the pages. This was 2 years ago, when he was a dumb 16 year old who had a crush on another dumb 16 year old. He probably doesn't like him anymore. Probably.

He remembers being stupidly awkward near him and never knowing what to say when he talked to him. It was true though, that Kaede always talked about being in love. She was crazy cheesy and never stopped talking about a boy or girl she liked. Unlike Shuichi, who constantly kept his mouth shut about love.

When rumors somehow started to spread about his crush on the Kokichi Ouma, Shuichi managed to get out of it by a bit of lying. Those memories are gonna stick with him forever. Kokichi still brings it up every now and then, but Shuichi wouldn’t dare tell him the rumors were true. He was sixteen! Everything goes, feelings do too. He doesn’t need that reminder.

But his dreams somehow always managed to predict the future. Maybe it was Kokichi who was supposed to be with him. Maybe.

Shuichi could only sigh as he flipped to another page.

_ June 2nd, 2018 7:32 pm _

_ Is Kaito asking me out? _

_ No way. He’s straight. _

_ And he’s totally got a thing with Maki. _

_ I try not to get dumb crushes get in the way of my studies. _

_ But I couldn’t stop my brain from running during math!! _

_ Now I don’t understand a thing about dilations. _

_ Damn. _

_ He asked me if I ever had a boyfriend before. _

_ Then he asked me if I’m allowed to date. _

_ Who does that? _

_ No one who’s “just friends” does that. _

_ Maybe I’m overthinking. _

_ Boys are so hard. But I’m a boy. _

_ Kaede says girls are hard too. But she’s a girl. _

_ It probably doesn’t matter. _

_ As if he actually likes me though. _

_ We wouldn’t even have a chance! It’d be over in a second. _

_ It’s probably nothing. I’m only saying this cuz I like him. If I didn’t like him then it wouldn’t have mattered so much.. _

_ Right? _

_ It’s cuz of his stupid hair. If it weren’t for his stupid, way-too-much-gel hair that I like so much, then maybe I wouldn’t be so crazy about this. _

_ And he’s also tall. And strong. _

_ He’s on the football team. _

_ And his hands are big and also strong. _

_ And his eyes are like galaxies and I went to smell his cologne. _

_ Holy duck. _

  * _Shuichi S._



Shuichi cringed as he read through the diary entry. Why was he so stupid horny about Kaito? He shook his head. No, he knew why. Kaito’s still handsome and even though it’s been a year he still finds himself staring at him.

Shuichi remembered that a month after he wrote that, Kaito and Maki started dating. Shuichi was devastated. He remembered constantly trying to keep a straight face when they were nearby. He even tried to not look at them altogether.

A day after they started dating he had a dream they broke up on a pirate ship. They did actually break up a few weeks after, though more realistically and actually over the phone. At the time Shuichi was very happy about it.

He feels a little bad whenever he thinks about it now though.

Shuichi brought the diary up to his face again and started flipping through the pages.

_ December 13th, 2018 5:45 pm _

_ There’s this cute upperclassmen in my art class. _

_ He’s a senior. _

_ Is that weird? _

_ He’s only a year older. _

_ I think his name is Hajime. _

_ He’s cute. _

_ Really cute. And he’s tall. _

_ He has an older brother who’s in college. _

_ I think his name is Izuru. Or is it Izuku? _

_ I just heard some of his friends talking about him. _

_ When my pencil fell on the floor we picked it up at the same time and he stared into my eyes. _

_ It was kind of hot. _

_ He’s the definition of dark tall and handsome and I want to smell him. _

_ Now that’s weird. _

_ I told Kaede earlier and she got mad at me because seniors are a big no-no. _

_ “If you get too attached you’ll regret it when they graduate!!” — Kaede _

_ Whatever. He’s still cute. _

  * _Shuichi S._



Shuichi wasn’t sure how to feel about this one.

Shuichi had actually gotten over Hajime Hinata pretty quickly. Everything about him was great, it was no wonder he got a boyfriend a week later. Shuichi doesn’t actually know his name, he just knows he’s in Hajime’s circle of friends.

Is it Ko?? Koma?? Mae?? Nagi?? Whatever. That was last year anyways.

He didn’t actually talk to Hajime much. He was just a nice upperclassmen that Shuichi managed to fall in love with. That was all. It was definitely a big deal back then though. Especially to Kaede.

Shuichi shook his head to get rid of his thoughts and flipped to a new clear page. He picked up a pen from his bedside drawer and started to write.

_ February 20th, 2019 3:02 pm _

_ I can’t believe he dumped me! _

_ We broke up. He played me. _

_ Why do I not feel that bad though? _

_ “We have no connection” my ass!! _

_ YOU asked me out. YOU take responsibility. _

_ You asked me out so what did you expect? For me to come chase you like some hyena? _

_ I don’t know what you want from me. _

_ Is this the denial stage of grief? _

_ Should I feel worse? _

_ My feelings are not working. I broke the system. _

_ Still, _

_ What. A. Dick. _

_ Rantaro Amami can suck a dick xoxo _

  * _Shuichi S._



Feeling better, Shuichi shut his diary closed and got off the bed. He was about to walk over to his desk before he heard a “ding!” from his phone.

Shuichi picked it up and read the text that appeared on the screen.

**Kokichi (3:10 pm)**

  * **You okay?**


  * Wanna get ice cream later?


  * If you’re free. Up to you.



Shuichi smiled as he read the text over and over again. Shuichi opened the app and started to type.

**I’d like th**

No not that.

**Sure! I’d love th**

That sounded way too optimistic.

**I’m fine. Maybe at 6?**

That was too negative.

**Thank you, I’d like that.**

Sure, whatever. Shuichi sighed and sent the text.

**Shuichi (3:12 pm)**

  * **Thank you, I’d like that.**



**Kokichi (3:12 pm)**

  * **great!**


  * Does 5 sound good?



**Shuichi (3:13 pm)**

  * **mhmm**


  * See you then?



**Kokichi (3:13 pm)**

  * **yeah :)**



Shuichi giggled as he put down his phone and flopped face first into his bed. Maybe today isn’t gonna be so bad.

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Vent fic cuz my boyfriend broke up with me lol
> 
> I feel like I should be sadder but I’m not cuz he was super mean and a dick
> 
> So yeah


End file.
